Liquid Courage

I can only write after a couple of drinks. This is unhealthy. I thought today about people who get the shakes if they don't down a tallboy before the start of the day. Could that be me? I told my girlfriend a story about before I lived in the city I would have these discussions with myself on how if I went out later my time spent drinking would be less so I would not be blackout drunk when I came home. She said, “that's alcoholism”. I try to reconcile that I am no longer that person even though I still drink but not in the capacity I used to. I don't go out anymore, I don't buy beer at the store, yada, yada, yada. Look at me still trying to reconcile my problem. I will never stop. I laugh at myself sometimes looking back at the times I ridiculed my mom for her smoking. I told her I’d pay her one hundred dollars if she could go one day without a cigarette. She couldn't do it, and cigarettes led to her death. I had bad mentors too, especially Bukowski. He admitted to being an alcoholic and thought of it as a genuine lifestyle. He’s one of those people that think substances enhance their art. It doesn't enhance my art it only gets me focused, gets me some sort of rush of brain chemistry that keeps me engaged. I am not hesitant to say what I want to say. It suppresses the harsh critic within me that tells me “it’s all shit.” “But Hemingway said the first draft is always shit.” “It’s all shit.” Even now after beer one I feel energized. I feel like the words matter, they mean something. Bukowski again feeds me the words I need to hear about alcohol. There is a price for drinking, the hangover. It's a tale of diminishing returns, even a couple of beers end up with a morning headache for me. There is so much going on in the world, but nothing seems worth talking about. This supposed era-defining election. I voted, for Biden. I wanted to write in Andrew Yang, but the que-tip they gave me to press the icons on the electronic voting machine gave me trouble so I just put Biden. I have no love for Trump, but not an eviscerating hatred. I am just tired of him, the world is tired of him. The experiment was a failure, and even if he is re-elected I won't be angry one bit. I survived the first four years, I’ll survive the next four. A sense of dread came over me like a premonition that I may not live to see the next four years. Oh well. I would much like to drift from a Democrat to a more Libertarian lean, but they're still a bunch of squares just like the Republicans. No sense of humor, no conceptualization of this multifaceted Nation. A feeling that America was under an Apartheid regime since the founding fathers now seem more plausible. I watched a news piece on foreign correspondents' thoughts on America. “People in Japan ask how America is any different from Belarus.” Well, many things my dear Japanese. I would say. People focus on America, but it is the entire Cold War World Order that is falling apart. The world is no longer under the American hegemon, but will be divided between a new East and West. The United States and China. Russia in my view has seen its last gasp of tyranny from Putin. The attempt on Navalny was Putin’s swan song. Major upheaval in Eastern Europe will be the new “Arab Spring”. I also try to think about where humanity is going. I think that skipping over the Moon and shooting for Mars is a fool's errand. There will be no backup plan for Earth. We are stuck here unless we shed our humanity genetically or digitally. I think the only way to survive space is to hijack our biology through nanotech, to either purify or augment. The other solution is to become immortal digital entities. Earth will be the planet that seeds the universe. I think we are the most biological diverse planet in our galaxy. Through panspermia after an asteroid impact, the Earth cell will populate, or Von Neumann probes that can self replicate will travel the galaxy trying to find Earth 2 where it will build facilities to raise stored human embryos thus spreading the human virus abroad.

Movie Review-Recently, I watched the movie “Spotlight”. I was underwhelmed by the lack of drama in such a serious topic. “The Post” and “The Big Short” equally similar films provided much more comedy and drama. Micheal Keaton’s best movie as a journalist was the movie “The Paper” about a second-tier newspaper trying to get the lead on two young men accused of murder. It showed Micheal Keaton’s internal struggle between him and his new boss, masculine Glenn Close. An unhealthy marriage plus impending fatherhood as well as offers to move to a more prestigious newspaper. Now I’ve gone and recommended “The Paper” it’s got Randy Quaid in it. He’s pretty funny.

Music Review-Let’s just get this out of the way and I will tell you that Clutch is my favorite band. I think my profile pic is me in a Clutch hoodie that was taken back in 2012. I would say to you dear reader that I will give each Clutch record and tell its genre leaning and you can pick an album based on your preference.

Transnational Speedway League-thrash metal-rock

best song-House That Peterbilt

Clutch-self title-rock

Every song on this album is great.

Elephant Riders-stoner rock-eclectic guitar

Soapmakers/Dragonfly-Will change your life.

Jam Room-funk-rock

Sea of Destruction

Pure Rock Fury-stoner rock-funk-groove

Open Up the Border/The Great Outdoors

Blast Tyrant-rock-funk

Every song is on this album is great.

Robot Hive/Exodus-rock

Burning Beard

Beale Street to Oblivion-rock-blues

You Can’t Stop Progress/Power Player

Strange Cousins From The West-rock

Minotaur

Earth Rocker-rock

DC Sound Attack

Psychic Warfare-rock/psychedelic

Decapitation Blues

Book of Bad Decisions-rock

Emily Dickinson

Book Review- I will have to recommend Ernest Hemingway’s “The Sun Also Rises”. I have read this book front to back three times in the last two years. It talks about the “Interwar Years” after World War 1, and it’s characters are American ex-pats and English travelers. A lot of heavy-handed reference to masculinity and the loss of masculinity. These “Interwar Years” remind me of the American Post 9–11 world and the “Millennial” as a sort of lost generation. I, as a Millennial, sympathize with the cohorts of Sun Also because they prioritize the “experience” over material wealth or objects, they drink too much, they are scatterbrained and downtrodden, they seek violence in person or on-screen or in view, as finally accepting chaos into order.

TV review-Watch the new Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix.

Good Day.